In the most recent issue of Real Simple magazine there is a great article about things you shouldn't say to a college graduate. I mostly bought the magazine because of the one page article and I think it was worth it. So inspired by them I've come up with five things you shouldn't say to an English major.
1. Have you ever considered minoring in business? Yes, I have. No, I don't want to. If I wanted to minor in business I would and could but I've found a different path and it doesn't involve killing myself with a microeconomics textbook. Also, the business department is not the be all end all college.
2. So you want to be a teacher? Thousands of people get English degrees every year and obviously not all of of them end up being teachers. Some people like the idea of standing up in front of thirty pimple faced brats and attempting to explain why To Kill a Mockingbird is so great. I, for one, do not.
3. Recite some Shakespeare! I'm not sure where people get the idea that English majors sit in rooms and memorize lines from Shakespeare but someone asked me to do this once. I've never even taken a class on Shakespeare. I mean I've read Shakespeare for class, but only for a couple of weeks. I think this is just the first author most people think of.
4. So what do you want to do? Most college students don't know what they want to do but everyone seems particularly concerned about what English majors want to do. I don't really understand this. I usually want to ask them if they're offering me a job. There are a lot of majors out there that seem less applicable to the real world than English. Ones that immediately come to mind are American Studies, Leisure Studies, and Italian-- and I'm sure all of those people find jobs eventually. With all the typos I see on restaurant signs I think we could use a few more English majors in the world.
5. Why don't you write a book? A lot of English majors want to write books. A lot of English majors will write books or are currently working on books. But writing a book is not the solution to the "problem" of being an English major and truthfully there are a lot of English majors who I hope never, ever write books. Some English majors just like to read. Some of them are great technical writers. Some of them have no interest in writing at all. You're shocked I know.
So what do you say instead? Ask them what kind of classes they are taking, what they like about their major, what they don't like about it. English majors are great at talking and I'm sure you'll find a great conversation with them somehow.
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