Lillie McFerrin has created a new weekly writing prompt called Five Sentence Friday go to Lillie's blog to check out the task. This week's prompt is Delirious:
The hot lead splurged apart as the soft-nosed .44 slug burst through the clerk's chest. The gunman laughed as his fevered eyes picked out another target. Sweat ran down his brow as he fired the pistol over and over again; the lives of innocents were being snuffed out like cheap candles on a birthday cake. Suddenly there was a clicking sound, an exasperated sigh filled the air, everything went black.
"There's never anything decent on TV, it's all sex and violence these days," said Jim as he pressed the standby button on the remote control.
What did you think? Comments and criticism most welcome!
Yay! Thank you for being the first to participate in Five Sentence Friday. You did an awesome job! 'like cheap candles on a birthday cake' was my favorite line! The sentence at the end about Jim, was perfection. I could see this guy lazing back in his overstuffed chair, shaking his head at 'the world today.'
ReplyDeleteThat's great - lots of detail in so few words.
ReplyDeleteLoved the twist.