Merry Wanderer of the Night  + [TIME]

FTF Guest Post with Ems!

Today's Fairy Tale Fortnight guest poster is Ems of In Which Ems Reviews Books. I have known Emily (aka Ems) for a loooong time and she never fails to entertain. (This also means that I can totally steal her facebook profile picture...) I love passing book recs with Emily and was so excited that she wanted to be a part of FTF! And I love her topic! Who doesn't want to sit down sometimes to examine all the awesome stuff fairy tales have taught you!?:)

Real Life Lessons You Can Learn From Fairy Tales:

I’ve often wondered why people started telling fairy tales. Do you ever think about what was going through the Grimm’s heads? How ‘bout Walt Disney? I know I do.

Here’s what I’ve decided:

Fairy tales were written as cautionary tales for US. Forget the people who lived in the same towns and villages. Pfft. No. These are definitely written for us, because of the incredibly important and real lessons we can learn from them. Besides, I’m pretty sure the people living around the Brothers Grimm weren’t even literate, so…

Here are the lessons I’ve learned:
1. Do not EVER accept apples from kindly old ladies. It will inevitably be poisoned, and you most likely will not have seven dwarves around to put you in a glass coffin shrine. Now, if she offers you an orange or grapefruit, you’re probably safe. You NEVER see a poisoned citrus fruit.

2. Make friends with the prince’s horse. You never know when it’ll come in handy having an equine ally. Just look at Rapunzel. Could she have done half of what she did without Maximillian? Okay, so she had that cool hair that she could toss around, but still.

3. ALWAYS give the old, gnarly gnome man a bit of your bread. All he wants is a bite of bread and in return, he will give you pretty much any help you need. Deny him, and you’ll wish you hadn’t ever seen him in the first place. You know what they say about Karma. So that little guy in the subway station? Drop a few coins in just to be safe.

4. Don’t touch random sharp objects. You never know when one has been enchanted and you’ll fall into a 100-year sleep. I bet Princess Aurora wishes she’d known that.

5. Always have white, shiny teeth, especially if you are a prince. Your head shots always seem to focus on the teeth, and if you have a nice, shiny smile, the ladies will remember you and probably swoon. Swoonage is always good.

6. If there is a nasty storm brewing, DO NOT THINK YOU CAN JUST GO OUT IN IT. Most likely, it is the work of an evil enchantress who is trying desperately to either a) keep you away from your goal or b) kill you.

7. Always be kind to the woodland animals. Maybe sing to them and bring them treats. When that kindly old lady comes around with her poisoned apple and you haven’t made friends with the little animals, who can you rely on to chase her off a cliff? Hmmm?

8. Become adept at carrying things on your head. You only have two hands, and your head kind of just sits there. So make it useful and learn to carry things on it. You just never know when you may need this skill. I’d like to be able to balance all my textbooks on my head, but I never learned the skill. I’m regretting it now.

9. Don’t discount the plain sorts. Was it one of the fabulous and flashy princes who saved the twelve dancing princesses, I ask you? No, it was not. It was a plain and older solider. Sometimes, the pomp and circumstance of the flashier guy masks a sadly lacking wit and ability to think outside the box. We fairy tale fans all know that there is usually more to someone than what’s on the surface.

10. Don’t ever make your spouse’s child a servant. Whether you read the Grimm version or watch the Disney version, it doesn’t end well for dear step-mama. I don’t know about you, but I’m not looking to be embarrassed in front of the prince OR be nailed into a barrel studded with nails (while you’re naked, I might add) and rolled into the sea. Just not my cup of juice, thanks.

So there you have it. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t read fairy tales because “you won’t learn anything.” (imagine nice, big, sarcastic air quotes there) I’ve just proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you can learn all sorts of valuable lessons from fairy tales. So there.

Haha! I love it! And ya — always share your meal with the weird little gnome guy! Although, might I add that if you are the elder child chances are your lot in these tales is just gonna suck... Sorry Ems. But the fairy tale facts speak for themselves. Lucky for me, I have an older sister... ;)

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