Merry Wanderer of the Night:
atypical

I have more mini-reviews today, because these both also fall under the category of wanted to/should have loved these books, But.

First is May B. by Caroline Starr Rose. This is a book that I really should have loved. It's written in verse, which I'm pretty sure most people know how much I absolutely adore. It's historical fiction — life on the prairie — which I've been totally fascinated with for as long as I can remember. And it's a survival story taking place in the midst of a crazy, nasty blizzard. Oh ya, and, the importance of reading and language plays a large part in the growth of the main character. Umm, yes please.

I was in love with the idea of a historical fiction story being told in verse. I feel like non-Contemporary verse novels are rather rare, so I was really excited for this one. But for some reason, the execution was really lacking for me. May is sent by her parents to live/work with a newlywed couple because her family needs the money her servitude will bring. But shortly after May gets there, the wife (who is from the city and really struggling with the vast prairie life) decides she is going to leave, and the Mr. goes after her. He's only supposed to be gone for a day, but he never comes home. May is left completely alone as winter approaches and she has no idea how to get home.

That is enough for a compelling story. But there were other things added to the story that I assume were meant to give depth to the story and to May's character, but instead just felt underdeveloped and tacked on to say — Look!! Character growth! May should have been a strong character, but I never really believed that she was, I only ever believed that I was supposed to think she was. I just never felt a true sense of connection with May and honestly thought the inclusion of May's struggles to read were overdone and unnecessary, constantly pulling me out of the story and severing whatever connection had started to form. I don't know why that was. Reading is (obviously) a big deal to me, but it never felt natural or necessary. It always felt to me like a plot device, and a poorly disguised one at that. This is actually a story I think might have worked better in traditional prose (although it pains me to say this) and although, overall, I did enjoy the story well enough, it's not a book I'll be recommending much, although if you are already interested, I suggest you give it a try anyway. I will definitely try the author again, and I think this is a book worth giving a chance, even if it didn't quite click for me.

On a completely different note, I have always been completely fascinated by true crime stories, and serial killers and other morbidly interesting stuff. So when I saw Green River Killer: A True Detective Story by Jeff Jensen on Netgalley, I was like — Yes! Win! The Green River Killer was a big deal for a lot of years, killing a tragically large number of women and eluding the police for a very long time. And, because I really am morbid, I was excited to read a story written by the lead detective's son and told as a graphic novel.

Unfortunately, the idea behind the book was the most interesting part of it. I found myself very disappointed in the actual contents of the book. The story had a very strange chronology that didn't flow well and it made it really hard to be interested in the story. There were random and unexplained jumps in time and setting that were never explained and it made the story really awkward to read.

And, the illustrations, while well drawn, weren't very distinct, and I'll admit that there were times I wasn't sure who was actually depicted. They all kinda just looked the same to me.

I feel like this is a story that could have been amazing. As the son of the lead detective on such a high profile case, you would have a lot of different information and a different view of the case than most people, and I feel like there could be a lot of really solid material for a book. Unfortunately, this one just didn't work for me and I ended up spending a good 85% of the book bored and wishing it were over.

*Disclaimer: Both of these books were electronic ARCs received via Netgalley.

Breathing Underwater by Alex Flinn is written as a series of journal entries. The journal is written by Nick as an assignment from the judge who also sends him to anger management after the girlfriend he beat up finally presses charges. The book was published in 2001, before the recent increase in dating violence novels, and it tells a story often overlooked, that of the abuser instead of the abused.

It's a delicate subject. And it tells a hard story. Because while Nick is (obviously) not without his faults, he most certainly has his good points as well. And as I read I found myself feeling... not sympathetic, exactly, but definitely feeling something, more than I thought I would.

Initially, Nick is angry at being forced into these group anger management classes and he hates the idea of having to keep a journal. He doesn't think he has a problem, thinks he just needs to pretend to clean up a little so he can get Caitlin back, get the courts out of his face and everything can be perfect again. Because we are reading Nick's journal, we are privy to his thoughts, his perceptions and misconceptions. But we are also able to read between the lines and recognize that we are missing things, both because Nick is leaving them out and because Nick simply doesn't see them. The initial entries into the journal are very sarcastic and emotionless. It's clear that Nick doesn't want to be bothered with a journal and that he thinks it's stupid. But as Nick's story progresses, more and more emotions leak onto the pages until Nick is really keeping a journal and using it as a way to organize his thoughts and face up to painful memories and truths.

This is a book with astounding character growth. We learn enough about Nick throughout the course of the story to know that his life is not as easy or golden as his school friends always believed it to be. And Caitlin knew this, which is perhaps the reason that she stayed with him for so long, forgave him so many times. But, even though Flinn offers up Nick's back story, allowing us to get to know who he is and what life experiences have shaped him, she never excuses or justifies his behavior, and ultimately Nick is not allowed that either.

The group anger management class ends up being the best thing that ever happened to Nick, both because of the sympathetic and understanding instructor, and because Nick can see himself in the actions of some of the other members of the class and he doesn't like what he sees. For such self-assessment to come from a 16 year old who then takes it and applies it to making himself better is amazing. Nick really grows as a person and while I don't think Caitlin should ever take him back, I also think that he would not easily allow himself to fall back into the patterns of an abusive relationship. He really gets it.

This is a story that needed to be told and needs to be read by more people. I don't think enough people know about this book and I don't think it's one that should be missed. It's painfully hard to read at times. Nick doesn't hide the nasty things he said to Caitlin, because in the beginning, he doesn't think there is anything wrong with what he's done. And then, as he begins to recognize what was wrong with his actions, he starts to expose more of his internal motivations for being so cruel and the thought to action correlation begins to make more sense.

Flinn is brave for taking an oft told story and telling the unspoken side of things. It would be easy, in a novel about an abuser to make him either evil and terrible or to justify his behaviors to the point of absolution. But abuse is not a misunderstanding and it's rarely so simple as to be the actions of the truly evil. And Flinn has captured that beautifully. Nick is human. He is flawed and over time, he begins to accept that and work toward a change. THIS is what Contemporary is all about. Finding these novels that capture a moment in the human experience and open your eyes to it, make you recognize it for what it is, make you learn and grow as a person and help to open windows of understanding into subjects otherwise closed to us. Every side has two stories and it is a brave writer who can so masterfully tell the unpopular one.

Earlier today, I posted an awesome guest post from author Lisa Schroeder about why she writes and loves Contemporary. She's offering a signed copy of one of her novels, Far From You (in my blog) and I figured that today was a good time to review the book myself.

Far From You is actually Schroeder's least well known book (heard that one from the author herself). It doesn't get the attention that her others have, and after reading it, part of me can understand it. With each of the other books, I had a pretty good idea what the story was going to be about. Not so with Far From You. In Far From You, Schroeder has actually crafted a much subtler story. It's harder to summarize, harder to explain, but it's one of those stories that niggles in the back of your mind, reminding you at odd moments that it's been there.

I don't know if that even makes sense, but I can't think of any other way to describe it. After I had finished, I thought about it, recognized that I still loved Lisa, but that this wasn't my favorite. It's still not my favorite (The Day Before gets that prize by a long shot, because it really was just that awesome). But the more I think about this one, the more I feel that its subtlety is what makes it so strong.

Alice is just this side of bitter. She's had to deal with an awful lot of painful changes for one so young and she doesn't really know how to cope with it all. She's not totally sure what to think about the new step-mom and half sibling, she's still trying to cope with the death of her mother and she's at that age where you are trying to learn about yourself and who you are. And then, Alice, her step-mom and the baby get trapped in a snow storm. They turned wrong, the car is low on gas and they are stuck in a snow drift. And things get pretty desperate very quickly.

This story is more internal and reflective than most I've read. There are very few characters, the setting is dire, but the same and Alice finds herself with large amounts of time on her hands, with nothing to do but wait for help or death. Her step-mom leaves to seek help, leaving Alice with this tiny baby, no food and a car that's nearly dead.

Alice becomes a strong person in that car, waiting for life or death to take her, and she becomes a fighter. She does what little she can to keep the baby warm, to protect each of them, and as she does this, she opens herself up to more than she had previously and she allows herself to love more fully. She spends a lot of time thinking about the people at home, her choices, her future and quietly, and without fanfare begins to mature.

I really appreciated that this book didn't require a boy to inspire change (although if I remember right, she does have a boyfriend back home...) and I also liked that the change was hers, and although it was, in part, inspired by a brush with death, even that is quieter than we as readers are used to. There was no crazed madman chasing after her, no apocalypse, no rouge government, no drug overdose or catastrophic accident. There was merely snow. Snow that piled and piled and cold that seeps into your bones and robs your breath. That kind of cold and desperation can make a person into many things and I loved watching Alice grow into herself. She's not perfect and there is still more she could change, but she accomplished so much throughout this short novel and it's a book that leaves you with your heart full.

(Can I just say that this is by far the most beautiful of Lisa's book covers (and IMO the hardcover is... rather ugly) but this is gorgeous, simply stunning and I feel like it captures the soul and heart of this book incredibly well.)

Second Hand Heart by Catherine Ryan Hyde is a complex novel and it's one that I've had a tough time really nailing down my thoughts and feelings for. Overall, this is a solidly good book. It has strongly written characters, all who are very distinct and unique and real. But some of their interactions and relationships were less real to me. And, some of their decisions made me angry. It's been weeks since I read this book and I still can't decide if I'm angry at the characters themselves for their stupid choices or at the book for going there.

I would like to say that any incoherencey in this review is to be blamed on the fact that this is how I'm working out the details of how I feel about the individual aspects of the book, so you might get to see some Aha moments.:)

The story is written as a series of journal entries from both Vida and Richard. Vida thinks her name is stupid. It's Spanish for life, and she's 19 and dying of a life long heart disease. She's at the very top of the donor list which is both a very good and very bad place to be. It's good because it means that the next matching heart is yours. It's bad, because it means you are so desperately sick, odds are pretty good that you will die before that heart donor does. It also creates some really intricate and rough emotions to deal with and I thought those were beautifully illustrated. We see it a lot in her mom also. How do you pray for a heart to become available to save the life of your child, when that available heart means that someone else has died. How do you feel like a good person when you are wishing for someone's death so that your little girl will be able to experience life. It's not bad enough that you have to watch your child suffer and wither into almost nothingness, but then you have to recognize that the only thing that could possibly save her is the loss of someone else. Ouch.

Richard is in his late 30s (I believe) and his wife, who was an organ donor and a match for Vida dies in a car accident. Vida and her mother ask/extend the invitation to Richard to meet them and he decides to go, against the advice of his mother-in-law. Richard is also putting himself into a tough position. He's just barely lost his beloved wife and now he's going to meet the young girl who had her life renewed because his wife lost hers. That would be so hard, and would definitely be made undeniably harder when the new owner of that heart declares her love for Richard, even though this is the first time they've met.

So — When reading Vida's narrative sections, I loved her. She's had such a hard life and it's definitely not easy now. But she's funny and so full of the idea of life. She's been so sick her whole life that she's had no normal social interactions and a lot of basic social skills completely escape her. Her mom doesn't know how to stop being the overprotective do-everything-for-you type, because with all Vida's health problems, she's never had that natural progression into self-sufficiency. Can you imagine the challenge? To go from dying to better almost overnight and trying to cope with the changes?! That would be hard on everyone involved and it was, it definitely was. Vida was by far my favorite character. But when Richard narrated, I didn't like her as much. She seemed awkward and weird and... kinda crazy. I have to say that this is probably brilliance on the part of Ms. Hyde, because initially, Richard does kinda write Vida off as crazy and that's easy to see in his recitation of their interactions through his journal. So while it made me sad, especially in the beginning, to realize that I didn't really like Vida when Richard was narrating, I also now recognize it as a brilliant move on Hyde's part because it pulls you more into Richard's character. If Richard doesn't like her, or views her as a bit of a lunatic, I can't do much else, even knowing how much I loved her before.

The focus of this novel is really in the relationship between Richard and Vida and the heart, and whether or not cellular memory can, in fact, possibly be a real thing. And this part of the novel was, almost without exception, flawlessly wonderful (there is one part, toward the resolution of the story that really didn't sit well with me, and no amount of explanation or justification will ever make me okay with that, but it's a pretty huge spoiler, so I won't go into detail). However, I did feel that much of the secondary character and story development really suffered because of how encompassing and important the heart was. It almost felt like Hyde was trying to tell two stories here — One, the story of a transplant recipient feeling the residual love and emotions of the donor and Two, the story of a girl who's never had a chance to really live being given a new chance at life, a chance to do all she had previously missed out on. You would think that those two stories would fit perfectly together, but for some reason, a lot of what happened ended up being slightly unbelievable (and not just the psychic either. I'm also talking about a boy who has had two head nods on the stairs with Vida being willing to completely uproot his life for a? ? maybe? ?). I'm choosing not to say much about these sections, because I do think the most important part of the story revolves around the heart, but if you do allow yourself a pretty hefty suspension of disbelief for how, the side stories and characters do create a novel that is so much more than it would be without.

I know I kind of circle around in that above paragraph about a few things (partly because I'm still conflicted) but overall, I did really enjoy this book and it is a book that I would actually recommend to a lot of people. It's incredibly thought provoking and one that really makes you think, makes you question, and makes you wonder about a lot of different things. There is so much to think about within this book. So much wondering, so much love and loss and life and pain and hope and strangeness that I'd say it's impossible to leave this novel without some type of food for thought. This is a book that I'd love to discuss with others because there is just so much to it.

I have always loved reading (bet that was a hard one to figure out) but I've also really loved to learn. School was always very fun and rewarding for me, and I just kinda soak up random facts, both relevant and not like a sponge. When I learned that I could combine both reading and learning, I was in nerd heaven. (but whatevs... I was always a cool nerd)

Anyway, I discovered the Dear America series, written about fictional young girls in real periods in history. At least, from what I remember all the girls were fictitious... (Some of them might have been real people, but I don't think so...) I loved these books. Like, so much. I loved them that now, anytime I go into a used bookstore, I try to find copies. Many of them are still in print, but they are paperbacks and the new covers are... not as awesome. But the original books printed were all this gorgeous hardcover with deckled edges and a ribbon bookmark. Beautiful.

And they all had really awesome names like, Across the Wide and Lonesome Prairie, Winter of the Red Snow and I Thought My Soul Would Rise and Fly.

Each of the books were written as if they were the journals of these fictional characters. One girl lived through the sinking of the Titanic, another was a Texas girl during the fight at the Alamo, one was captured by Indians, another a girl living through the Civil War. Each of these 'girls' wrote about her experiences, living through an important part of history. There were so many of these books written and I absolutely loved them.

My parents gave me two for Christmas one year, and I read them over and over and over. I read them so many times, it's been years now, but I'm pretty sure I could still recite passages from them. Standing in the Light:The Captive Diary of Catharine Carey Logan and A Line in the Sand: The Alamo Diary of Lucinda Lawrence. I was initially disappointed, because I had been hoping for the Titanic story (at that age, I was absolutely obsessed with all things Titanic) but my parents knew that I had already read it, and wanted to get me books I had not yet read. And after I read these two, I wanted to know more, so much more about both the Alamo and what it was like for both the Indians and the settlers during the 1700s. And also — I still really miss Snow Hunter.

I also loved that the books have information in the back and what is and isn't historically accurate in the book, as well as additional information that can help guide learning about the time period — real journal entries, images, etc. It was fascinating and I loved every part of these books.

Perhaps this isn't the most coherent and detailed Memory Monday post ever, but this is still most definitely a series that I loved, a series that I continue to love, even though I haven't read any of the books in far too long. It's a series I'll also continue to buy when I see it, in the hopes that my future children will be just as interested in reading as I am.

Side note — There is another series called My Name is America, that is basically the same thing, only for boys, about boys, with boy main characters. I have never read them, because young Ashley reading these did not want to have some boy book, because, well, Duh, girls were the best (see Memory Monday post about Girls Know Best) . But I would like to buy and read them some day, both so that I can learn more about certain time periods, and so that future boy children can read them, in case they feel about girls as I did about boys.: P

Do any of you remember reading the Dear America series? What about My Name is America? I'd love to hear your thoughts on either series if you've read them!:)

Sorry that this post is going up way later than normal — I've already had 2 posts go up today (crazy scheduling) and wanted to have them at least a little spread out. And, I had some stuff come up after work that I wasn't expecting... Sorry.:)

Anyway, I wanted to do two mini-reviews, both Printz Honor winners and both that, although dealing with different issues, both do have a similar emotion tied into the story.

First is Keesha's House by Helen Frost. It's a story written in verse about teenagers struggling to find their place in life, struggling to make it from day to day. The story is told in a series of poems written by/about different characters in the story. Although most of the poems are from the seven teenagers, there are a few verses from the POV of the family or adults these teens left behind and we do get to hear from Joe a time or two as well (more on him in a sec). Keesha's dad is an alcoholic and abusive, so she leaves. She finds Joe's house, and Joe lets her stay. She pays what she can in rent and is able to have a place for as long as she needs it where she feels safe. Initially, I was worried about this — Adult man letting teenage girl stay in his home... Screams creeper. But it worked. Somehow, especially after we read the poems from Joe he really is just a super nice guy trying to do for kids what his aunt did for him — provide a safe and comfortable place where these kids can just feel secure. Several of the other teens in the story spend time at Joe's, although they hear about it through Keesha and she becomes almost the protector. She's the one that lets them know that there is a safe place they can go if they need to, a safe place for them when they feel they have no other options.

My heart broke for so many of these kids. One mistake that changed their lives, one life ruptured through someone else's mistakes, some who just can't seem to keep their head above water. I wished so much for these kids to be safe, to have people in their lives who love them and would care for them. It's a short book, just over 100 pages but every page counts, every page brings you into their lives, makes you care for them more and more and you just open your heart to these kids. It makes me wish that all kids would be able to find a place where they can stay, a place where they were able to find a temporary haven.

This is a book I don't think should be missed, a book that I think is important. If you are looking for a quick but powerful read, grab this one.

My Heartbeat by Garret Freymann-Weyr is another emotional read, although this one is written in more traditional prose. In this story, Ellen absolutely loves her older brother Link, and his best friend James. She's more than a little in love with James, but it's a little bit of a joke between them, pretty much understood to be a school girl crush. But then, she hears people talking about the two of them at their school, asking if they are a 'couple'. She's never really thought about it before, and doesn't really understand much of what it means, so she asks. She knows it's getting into a messy area, because in her family, you walk away... You do not talk about the tough stuff. But she is so confused and so desperately wants to know and understand her brother better that she asks. And everything changes.

Link is not gay. He's very adamant and defensive about it. James is, or not, or is. He's not really completely sure, but he's also not terribly concerned with giving it a label. He loves who he loves and I never got the feeling that he cared if the person was male or female. He loves Link but nothing sexual has happened between them and Link won't even talk about that possibility. But when Ellen forces it into the open, it ruptures the dynamic of their friendship.

Link and James stop hanging out, Link gets a girlfriend and Ellen and James start spending more and more time together.

I liked a lot about this book. I loved the way that Ellen sought out information on a subject that she didn't understand. She bought books, asked questions, looked up information online and tried talking to others about it. I also loved the initial time that Ellen and James spent together, because it taught her a whole new, and much broader way of viewing the world.

But I'm not sure I loved the direction the book went, especially the changes in certain relationship dynamics.

But then again, I'm torn. When you read a book, there is a certain expectation in the resolution. We expect a certain amount of closure, a certain level of completeness. And this book didn't really have that. Yes there is a lot of improvement, a lot of growth and maturation, but a lot was left very much up in the air. And I've decided that I'm okay with that. Because real life is messy. And in a story like this, there is no complete happy ending, there is no pretty package tied with ribbons and that's okay. Because it's real. There were some places the story went that I didn't really love, but the book was real. Life isn't clean, life doesn't always follow orderly and organizable paths. Often it's crazy, messy and hectic and you know, it's nice to read a story that ends without that completeness because it means that the characters don't have to end, just because the book has.

I read The Day Before by Lisa Schroeder back in April and I loved it. Like, I really, really loved it. But for some reason, I kept putting the review off. It's now much closer to the review date and I spent a lot of time on Twitter yesterday convincing one of my Twitter friends to read this book. (who absolutely loved it, despite being very wary of the verse style) Because I've spent to much time recently thinking about this book, talking it up to people and convincing them to read it, I thought today would be an appropriate time to post my review.

I honestly don't know where to begin with this book. This book has so much going for it, so many great things about it that it's impossible to identify all of them within the space of one review.

This book is Amber's story and when the book starts, the only thing we know is that it is the day before something huge is to take place. We don't know what, we don't know why or how. All we know is that today is the last day before Amber's life changes forever and she has decided to make this day her own. She writes a note to her family, gets in her car and drives to the beach where she plans to spend the day being by herself and sorting through her emotions. But then she meets Cade. And Cade has a secret too. While reading about him, you just know that there is something more to his day at the beach. Something more that he's not ready to face. He's living today like it's his last.

Amber feels drawn to Cade and he feels the pull as well. They decide to spend the rest of the day together and they both decide that there are to be no questions. They are not to talk about what they are escaping from, and they will just take this day at the beach.

I really enjoy novels in verse and I seek them out. I've read a fair number and I believe I can say that Schroeder has got it going on! She is one of the most truly gifted writers in verse that I have ever read. She knows exactly how much information to give a reader to peak their interest while not giving too much away. She knows the exact balance between suspenseful interest and frustration because we don't know anything, and that scale never tips toward the negative. Her verses are stuffed full of emotion, loaded with feeling and the characters are no longer confined to the pages. They are real to me.

I refuse to give any spoilers away to this story, because part of the magic of this book is the discovery of what tomorrow will bring for both characters. But I will say that what Amber faces is worth the stress she's feeling and it is something that has refused to leave my mind in the two months since I read this book. I find myself constantly thinking about this book and the people in it. I've talked about it many times with family members and with friends, both in real life and online. It won't let go of me. This book has got such a hold on me that I don't think I'm ever going to forget it. This is a book I can easily see myself rereading time and time again.

Lisa Schroeder is an author who has definitely earned herself a place on my permanent I love you shelf. She is amazing and if you have yet to read a book by her, FIX IT!! Fix it NOW!

Oh, and if you are hesitant to read this one because of it's verse style? Just tweet me (@BasicallyBooks) or drop me an email. I'll convince you.:) Take a chance on this author, because I find it impossible to believe you will leave this book disappointed or unmoved.

*Disclaimer: I received this book through Around the World ARC Tours.

Monsterby Walter Dean Meyers was the first recipient of the Printz Award in 2000. It's the story of a young black kid on trial as an accessory to murder, although he's being tried as a full participant in the crime. 16 year old Steve is confused, scared and alone. The ADA calls him a monster, his court appointed defense lawyer thinks he's guilty, and his own parents aren't really sure who he is any more. Shoot, he's not even sure who he is anymore.

Because he's so confused right now, Steve decides to try and make sense of things the only way he knows how. He decides to turn the entire court and prison proceedings into a screenplay. He was taking a film class in school before being arrested and now uses the knowledge he gained there to try and cope with his situation. Interspersed throughout the screenplay are also journal entries from Steve where we have a chance to hear him talk openly about what he's feeling and struggling with.

I loved the format here. I loved viewing the court and all the proceedings through the lens that Steve puts on himself. The screenplay is not only his way to make sense of and cope with things, on some level, it's also his way of distancing himself from what is happening. This court case is going to completely change his life. If he's convicted, he'll be going to jail for a minimum of 20 years. That's a lot of a 16 year old kid to handle, and there are moments when he just needs to make it take a back seat.

Steve's thoughts are also unclear for most of the book. We are never actually sure if Steve is guilty, because I'm not sure Steve himself really understands if he is guilty or not. As we watch catch glimpses of his memories and are able to see more of how the events unfold, we are able to get a better idea of how Steve got to be in this situation. He wants to fit in with the tough guys in his neighborhood, wants to be tough like them, so he starts spending more time around them and through a series of bad decisions and moments where he let good choices go by, Steve finds himself with all of his time split between prison and court.

It's hard to watch Steve go through this. It's hard to see any young teen who might completely lose their freedom because of a series of bad choices, even though they are generally a good kid. I thought Meyers did an excellent job bringing enough ambiguity to Steve's character that we never really know if he's guilty, we never really know how involved he was, but we are also given enough information about him to know that he isn't a bad person. The scenes with Steve's family are especially painful. How do you talk to your kid when he's facing a murder charge and while you desperately want to believe he's innocent, deep down you aren't really sure?!

This one is a reread for me. I read it for the first time a few years ago and have been wanting to reread it for a while now. And I have to say, it's just as powerful now as it was then. It's not one to be missed.